Body Switch
by Matsuchiiify
Summary: Texas and Mississippi switch bodies. This is just great. xD


Mississippi sighed as he got up and walked into the bathroom, he always woke up early. Nothing to odd, right? Mississippi whipped his head around, and stared straight down the hallway.

"What the?" he muttered as he turned to look into the mirror located above the sink in the bathroom. "Dear God." Mississippi didn't know how or why, but he had switched bodies with Texas. "Ohhh. This is bad…bad, bad, bad…" he whispered to himself. He walked over to find that Louise was still asleep. It occurred to Mississippi that, for one, when she wakes up he'll have to explain, and secondly…. Texas sleeps in the same bed as Louise. Mississippi didn't do that with Alabama, in fact hasn't done so since he became a state. He didn't for the fact that he was shy, and if anyone were to see him in bed with Alabama would think certain "things." Let's not forget Arkansas visited a lot in the mornings, and he didn't want him to accidentally mention it. If he did tell someone like, Texas, for instance, he would surely take it the wrong way. Mississippi didn't want any rumors, plain and simple.

"Hmm…" he muttered slightly before walking around Texas' house. "Well I never realized how big his house really is." Mississippi walked up the stairs slowly, looking at everything. He laughed a little to himself, "I bet he doesn't even know what's up here." Mississippi stepped towards a desk in the room across to him. "A book? Since when does he read? Then again, it looks old." Mississippi opened the book slightly to see it was written in Spanish. "That's odd. But I'm not going to bother with it, just in case." He then walked over to shelf full of CDs. "Country, figures," he muttered. Mississippi then froze at a certain voice, Louise.

"Texas! Where are you?" Louise yelled from one part of the house.

"Where am I?" Mississippi whispered. "Good question. But responding with 'Not where I should be' would be absurd." Louise had walked into the living room as Mississippi began walking down the stairs.

"Well there you are! I see you woke up early, what happened? Not a nightmare, I would hope." She responded with a smile.

"Huh? Oh, no." Mississippi responded, with slight hesitation. Nightmare? Texas has nightmares? Mississippi couldn't help but wonder how a guy like Texas could have nightmares; it'd be more likely he'd be the nightmare.

"Quiet, are we?" Louise responded. "Well, at least you're not all moody," she said laughing. "Good thing Arizona isn't here either. I don't want you two trying to kill each other again. Well I mean I know you two wrestle and all, but it's just not normal."

"Hmm." Mississippi muttered so she knew he was listening. But what? Wrestle? Texas must be mentally insane. Mississippi would never wrestle with someone; he wouldn't even dare hug them. Not unless you hugged him first, it's rude not to hug back; no matter how awkward. Louise looked over at him and smiled.

"So, when did you wake up? It's around eight or nine right now, and you usually wake up around eleven." She said looking over at him, "You never wake up before me."

"Oh. I didn't check the time." Mississippi responded. He wakes up at eleven? Lazy, just plain lazy. Mississippi looked at Louise. He didn't know when to tell her he wasn't Texas, or whether she would believe him.

"Oh well," Louise began turning away, but quickly turned back, "Guess what I got?" Louise looked at Mississippi in excitement.

"What?" he asked. Is this even worth asking what? I hope to God it isn't something bad.

"I GOT AN XBOX 360!" Louise yelled, jumping a little at her own voice. Boudreaux then waddled in; Louise must have woken him up. He then went to sit on Mississippi's foot.

"….." Mississippi just stared at her, not noticing the bird resting on his foot. How is he supposed to respond? Would Texas even care? Probably not, unless there's something he doesn't know about…. Which is highly likely; it is Texas we're talking about.

"Don't you wanna play?" Louise said with a frown. "I have four controllers, you know."

"Oh. Sure…" Mississippi responded slowly. Mississippi didn't play video games that much, he was unlike Louise and Texas. "Wouldn't she notice I'm terrible at the video game anyway? Well maybe it'll be my chance to tell her I'm not Texas…" Mississippi mumbled under his breath.

"Guess what else I got?" Louise asked grinning.

"Hmm?" Mississippi replied. What now?

"Xbox live," Louise said staring at Mississippi; waiting for the news to seep in.

"Oh?" Mississippi responded. What is he supposed to say?

"Don't think you can get away with just that as a response. I know you have Xbox live too. I WILL KICK YOUR BUTT AT HALO!" Louise yelled walking over to her new Xbox.

"Umm Louise?" Mississippi asked, maybe he could tell her now?

"Well don't just stand there. Are you coming or not?" Louise asked.

"I suppose," Mississippi replied sighing. I wonder what Texas is doing….if he's awake.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Texas yelled falling out of bed. "WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" Texas looked around. "Mississippi's? What happened? Why the hell am AH HERE of ALL places?" Texas stood up and walked into the hallway. "HOLY SHIT," Texas said looking over to the nearest mirror hanging on the wall. "WHAT THE HELL! WHAT KIND OF ALTERNATE DIMENSION AM I IN?" Texas hit his head against the wall. "Apparently God hates me." Texas then heard the phone ring. "WHO THE HELL CALLS MISSISSIPPI? HE DOESN'T TALK! I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? GOD." Texas stomped over to the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Mississippi? You didn't call earlier…." Alabama's voice trailed off, "I was wondering if I could come over…. IF IT'S ALRIGHT WITH YOU!" Alabama then blurted out. What the? She has to call to ask if she can come over! Well maybe not… She did say he didn't call earlier. But what the hell? Since when do you give a rat's ass if he says you can come over? You come over any damn way.

"Why'd you have to ask me? Like I care," Texas responded. Well looks like I'm going to have to play Mississippi? "You can come over whenever. In fact you might as well spend the night." Texas grinned. Mississippi would probably kill him, oh well. "I mean when was the last time we… slept together?" Texas tried not to laugh, this was gold.

"Uh…. W-What do you mean b-by that?" Alabama asked, obviously in shock.

"Oh, I think you know," Texas responded making his voice sound as sexual as possible. He knew Alabama was over there shaking. Perfect, Mississippi will love this…Whenever he gets back into his body…..or whatever.

"Uhh…. I have to call you back later," Alabama said quickly before hanging up the phone. Texas began laughing.

"HAH HAH. What now, bitch? Mississippi, I think I'm ready to screw up your life," Texas said grinning. "So, for a start, let's rummage through your stuff!" Texas proudly marched back into Mississippi's bedroom. "Hey. Wait a minute, he better not mess with me… Ah fuck it. He wouldn't dare."

"Do you really not know how to play this, or are you just being lazy? I know you woke up early, but you could at least try," Louise said with slight anger in her voice. Mississippi looked over frowning.

"I've been trying to tell you I'm n-" Mississippi began but was cut off.

"LOOK OUT!" Louise yelled grabbing his controller. "Darn. You died….again."

"Well I'm not-" Mississippi began.

"Look, cheer up. I'm not gonna deal with you otherwise," Louise then kissed him on the lips. Mississippi was stunned.

"…." Mississippi had never been kissed by anyone other than Alabama. He never planned on kissing anyone other than her either. He just sat there staring at Louise, she didn't know… But it's still awkward. He didn't want to kiss her. "Louise!" Mississippi managed to choke out.

"Yeah?" Louise responded confused.

"I've been trying to tell you I'm NOT Texas. It's me, Mississippi," Mississippi said with a straight face. "You kissed the wrong guy!"

"Y'know, you could have just said you didn't want me to kiss you," Louise said getting up. "You didn't have to make up such a dumb lie."

"But I didn't…." Mississippi said with a frown,

"Whatever," Louise responded as she left. "You really shouldn't lie," Louise said slamming the door to the nearest room.

"Why wouldn't she believe me? I told her the truth…." Mississippi looked down at the Xbox that was still on. Does Texas lie that much? Mississippi turned the Xbox off and got up. "Texas, look what you did. You lie so much that the truth isn't the truth. Dear God, I wonder what nonsense he's up to."

"WHY ALL THE BOOKS? WHO THE FUCK READS THIS SHIT!" Texas yelled looking at the bookcase near the door. "Pfff. These books are HUGE. What does he use them for?" Texas said, oblivious to the fact that indeed people read books. "He's already tall enough; he shouldn't be stepping on books. Can't he get a stool?" Texas asked himself, as he continued rummaging through the books; he obviously uses books in the wrong way. "Screw the books. What else does he have?" Texas then looked over at a desk nearby.

"What is his problem? A desk and a book shelf? What does he do? Write his own books?" Texas asked as he sat in the chair in front of the desk. "I wonder what's in the drawers…." Texas then opened the drawer to find envelopes, pens, and paper. "What the hell? He just sits here and writes stuff? Boring." Texas lives in his own world; if he does something it's normal. You don't do what he does? You have no life. Texas heard a knock on the door. "That was quick, how long was I looking at those dumb books anyway?" Texas figured it didn't matter and walked over to the door. "Hello?"

"H-Hello…." Alabama said her voice trailing off; she appeared to be holding a piece of paper.

"Why hello," Texas said with a grin. I can mess with her now, he thought to himself. "Why won't you step inside?"

"O-Oh. Okay…" Alabama said walking inside. "Umm…. About earlier…." Alabama then sat on the couch with Texas.

"Yes?" Texas said trying not to snicker.

"Did you mean what you said?"

"Why of course, is it so strange for me to want to….Sleep with you?" Texas said smiling.

"Oh! Umm, I suppose not." Alabama said quickly turning away.

"What's wrong, don't you want to do the same?" Texas said getting closer to Alabama. If Texas was an actor, he'd probably be perfect for whatever role he had; he can impersonate people, lie, and do things without being embarrassed.

"Uhhh…." Alabama responded. "M-Mississippi, are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine," Texas responded.

"…Are you sure?" Alabama responded.

"Why of course."

"….."

"What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing!" Alabama said looking the other way.

"Are you sure? You seem a bit…..Tense," Texas said leaning even closer to Alabama.

"Uhhh…" Alabama muttered under her breath, as she tried to scoot away. Texas wrapped his arms around her, his breath was running down her neck.

"Don't be scared, I wouldn't hurt you, unless you want me to," Texas said grinning.

"Oh…..You mean? Oh God….." Alabama whispered back.

"I wouldn't dare do something you wouldn't….enjoy," Texas whispered, sending chills down Alabama's back.

"I-I see…"Alabama choked out.

"Oh? You haven't seen anything yet," Texas replied smirking. Hopefully Mississippi wouldn't kill him when he gets back to normal. This was still quite amusing, well at least for Texas. Alabama looked as if she'd have a heart attack, or at least faint.

"M-Mississippi….?" Alabama said, her voice cracking a bit, "P-Please s-st-top…." Texas then sat upright and hung his head down.

"Of course, I'm sorry," he said. Texas wasn't sorry, he was just making sure he didn't look way to suspicious, he was glad Alabama wasn't like Louise. If she was like Louise, he wouldn't have been able to mess with her without…..

"T-Thank you," Alabama said trying to calm herself. Texas then looked at her and smiled, if anything, he was having more fun than Mississippi would in the wrong body. Speaking of Mississippi…

"Louise?" Mississippi asked as he knocked on her door.

"Go away!" Louise hollered back.

Mississippi sighed, "Louise, I swear to God I wasn't lying."

"So you're lying to God now?" Louise snapped back.

"What?" Mississippi choked out. What kind of response was that?

"You heard me. I told you to go away already, so go."

"B-But I wasn't-"

"Go."

"Okay…." Mississippi said walking away. "I hate Texas so much right now, he better not have screwed something up. I swear I'll kill him." Did Mississippi mean that? Yes. If necessary he would kill Texas. Mississippi walked out the front door and down the steps and stood for a minute. "So, I'm going to have to take his truck? Great. God only knows what's in there…or where his keys are." Mississippi thought for a second. "Maybe I can find his keys." Mississippi then walked back into Texas' house.

"Hmm, where is it? Hah." Mississippi said looking at a cowboy hat. "I love how he happens to have one of these," Mississippi said getting Texas' keys from the hat. "He must dream of being a cowboy." Mississippi then walked out the door, almost letting it slam, but catching it just in time.

"So, Texas' truck…I don't think he'd like me driving it….Oh well. He's probably done worse."

"So…" Alabama said after a while. "How was your morning?" Texas was about to give her a 'Who gives a fuck?' look, but caught himself.

"Fine, yours?" he responded. Small talk? Smooth Alabama, smooth.

"Okay, I guess…" she responded.

"You sure?" Texas asked, "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing…. Um… Maybe I should just go," Alabama said getting up, "Here." She said handing him the envelope she had and left.

"B-But…" Texas began, but she left. "Oh well. What the hell is this?" he said looking at the cream colored envelope. "Hmm… I wonder if Mississippi will get mad if I open it." Texas laughed, "Hey Mississippi, if you don't want me to read it, say something now."

"Damn it Texas!" Mississippi said trying to push on the brakes, "You can't just- What the hell is with your truck? Do you not ever use your brakes? They barely work." Mississippi managed to stop and sunk into the driver's seat. "You're so lucky I didn't run into that car in front of me, they'd think I'm you…." Mississippi straightened himself up in his seat and continued to drive towards his house. "I hate you so much right now Texas. You make me want to run into that car, but I won't because it's not fair to that person in front of me."

"Hah. That means I can read it," Texas said with a grin, "Let's see," Texas opened the letter to find a blue sheet of paper folded in half, he unfolded it to see a poem written in black pen. The cursive writing was beautiful, and in an old fashion. Texas stared at the letter he held in his hands for a moment and then read its contents to himself. His face flushed red, "Whoa…" Texas folded the sheet of paper back and slid it into the envelope. "Ah'm not reading any more love letters. No sir. Not at all…..No." Texas appeared to be a bit shocked at what he read and he sat there for a moment staring at the envelope, which he placed on the table nearby, before hearing a car door slam. Which then in turn he heard a knock on the door.

"Texas! Open my door right this instant."

"Well hey there Mississippi, how's being me working out for ya?" Texas said opening the door.

"Terrible. Now what the hell happened? Why am I in your body?" Mississippi responded bluntly.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I don't do magic."

"Well I don't either!" Mississippi said a bit annoyed, "Who could it be? It couldn't be Louise. She wouldn't want me to switch bodies with you."

"Well naw shit."

"I was just stating that!" Mississippi tapped his foot, "Oh! I know. It could be Arkansas."

"How could the little fucker manage to do that? Have you been smoking weed?"

"No! Have you? It's your body, not mine."

"What? Fuck no; I haven't been smoking no damn weed."

"Anyway… I was going to say he's been getting magic lessons from England and-"

"Bushy eyebrows? Fuck no, why!"

"Why what?" Mississippi said staring at Texas.

"Why the fuck does he need to learn magic? If anything he needs to learn the alphabet or something."

"Texas. He's not stupid."

"Oh really? If he switched our bodies, he must be stupid."

"Texas, you're just-"

"Is that my truck?" Texas said, cutting Mississippi off in mid-sentence.

"Yeah, why?"

"Why the hell did you drive my truck? Don't ya know the breaks don't work!"

"I do now!"

"Dumbass. Where are my keys?"

"Why?"

"We're gonna have a word with Arkansas…." Texas laughed and a grin appeared on his face, "Ah have a few words for him."

"Oh no you don't, not in my body you don't," Mississippi responded.

"….If Ah tell ya what ta say, will ya?" Texas asked.

"No!" Mississippi yelled.

"Fine then, give me my God damn keys." Texas said as he grabbed his keys from Mississippi's hand. "And let me drive."

"Texas, you nearly killed us. Can't you drive without being reckless?" Mississippi asked after getting out of the car.

"Fuck no, ma brakes are broken." Texas responded as he began to walk.

"Is that the only reason?"

"…Shut the fuck up Mississippi."

"How long have your brakes been broken anyway!" Mississippi asked, as he tried to catch up to Texas.

"AH SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"…Whatever, dumbass."

"….Yer tha dumbass." Texas said as he knocked on Arkansas' door.

"H-Hello!" Arkansas asked, "I'm coming, just let me find my door!"

"Ah bet tha damn thing in unlocked." Texas said as he fiddled with the door knob, "See?" The door opened and Texas walked in.

"You have no patience or manners, do you?"

"You tell me." Texas responded bluntly.

"Texas, you have no manners and no patience to top that. While I'm here, you're a liar and your hair looks like propellers. I feel like a tall helicopter."

"….Mississippi, remind me to kill you."

"Why? Can't you get enough signals from your helicopter to work?"

"Scratch that. I'm killing you before we leave." Texas muttered gritting his teeth.

"Oh wow, threatening to kill yourself. You know suicide isn't a good idea."

"MISSISSIPPI. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Texas yelled as he stomped his feet. "FIND YOUR MIDGET AND FIX THIS NOW. BEFORE AH STRANGLE YOU."

"ARKANSAS ISN'T A MIDGET. IF HE'S A MIDGET THEN SO IS LOUISE." Mississippi retorted.

"LOUISE AIN'T NO MIDGET. SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC. GET IT RIGHT."

"YOU'RE RIDICULOUS."

"DAMN IT GET ME OUT OF YOUR BODY, I'M PISSED OFF AT YOU AND NOW I'M STUCK IN YOUR STUPID BODY."

"AT LEAST YOU HAVE A BODY WITH DECENT HAIR. I'M STUCK WITH PROPELLERS." Mississippi snapped back.

"THEY AIN'T PROPPELLERS. THEY'RE PART OF MA HAIR." Texas yelled.

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING?" Arkansas finally said, "I CAN YELL TOO!"

"…..LET ME AT HIM," Texas screamed.

"NO!" Mississippi yelled, holding him back.

"W-Wha!" Arkansas said in confusion. "W-Why are you trying to hurt me?" He said looking at Texas, but of course it looked like Mississippi to him.

"Arkansas, you switched our bodies by accident, do you know what you did so we can reverse it?"

"No, I don't remember…."

"GOD DAMN IT. SEE? LET ME KILL HIM!" Texas screamed.

"I SAID NO!" Mississippi yelled back. "Well um, let me talk to Texas for a moment…." He then dragged Texas outside. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"YOU'RE MY PROBLEM. AH'M STUCK IN YOUR BODY, DAMN IT. WHY COULDN'T HAVE IT BEEN LOUISE?"

"You're sick."

"…Well at least Ah can actually sleep in the same bed as ma girlfriend."

"….What did you just say?" Mississippi said as his eye twitched.

"You know very well what, you know you probably couldn't make any moves on Alabama anyway." Texas said with a grin, "Yeah, she'd probably be more likely than you to make the moves. HAH. So, you'd be bottom? You're so lame."

"…." Mississippi didn't care whether if it'd affect him later, but he punched Texas right in the face….well it's more like he punched himself in the face but at least it caught Texas off guard.

"Ya little fuck," Texas muttered before punching Mississippi. Before long this became a full blown fight.

"Oww…." Mississippi muttered as he tried to open his eyes, "Hmm?" he mumbled as he saw he was back in his own body, maybe the spell or whatever that was wore off. He saw his arm was in a sling and that he had lots of bandages.

"Oh, you're awake?" Alabama whispered as she walked into the room.

"Y-Yeah…" Mississippi whispered back.

"That was some fight huh? You got it bad, worse than Texas. Of course you're not the one to fight like that. What were you fighting about anyway?"

"I-I don't remember," Mississippi lied, he didn't want to explain.

"Hah, wanna laugh? Louise said Texas pretended to be you. How dumb can he get?" Alabama said with a slight laugh.

"Hah ha, I don't know." Mississippi smiled.

"Oh! Also…About earlier, umm….Maybe when you heal up, okay?" Alabama said as she kissed him on the forehead.

"O-Okay?" Mississippi asked, not knowing what she was referring to.

"Ohhh, what the? Aw fuck." Texas said when he opened his eyes, he felt achy all over.

"Hmm?" Louise whispered from the chair next to the couch. "You awake?"

"Y-Yeah…Oh God. Fuck, I shouldn't have done that. I should of waited for Mississippi to be in his own body."

"Hmph, that crap again?" Louise said unamused.

"W-Wha? AH SWEAR WE SWITCHED BODIES AND IT WAS ARKANSAS' FAULT!"

"Suuuure, like Arkansas knows how to do that." Louise said, walking out of the room, "I'm tired of that, I'm leaving."

"N-No! L-Louise!"

"What!"

"Please stay, Ah-Ah hurt…." Texas said in a sweet voice.

"Fine," Louise sighed and walked back into the room, "You're an idiot."

"Ah'm yer idiot." Texas said with a slight grin. Louise smiled a bit and kissed him.

"And what an idiot you are."


End file.
